I wasn’t in great shape. It was around 2006. My husband had died and I was running his theatre and pub. I was really tired and really sad. Death is the ultimate ‘F you’. Some of my daughter’s friends invited us to a weekend yoga workshop. The facilitator was this really great guy who had been a rock and roller fashion dude until one day he left it all to enter a Burmese monastery. In a very short time, he attained all the levels until just before Nirvana. He was an excellent teacher and a charismatic person of depth and wisdom. He said he had built a retreat on the Eastern side of Bali, a country I love. I knew I needed to go there. And so I did.
The retreat was beautiful and the buildings elegantly simple. I was blessed with a lovely space and a balcony. Very few people were there. Burgs, the Buddhist teacher, his partner in running the retreat-a petite Indonesian lady, his dishy assistant George, a young lad receiving treatment for some sort of serious malady and the hand full of various people running the place were the only ones there.
We were right on the water and the water stretched endlessly to the edge of the earth, populated only by the fishermen in their delicate red boats which danced like water spiders on the surface.
The gardener was also the masseuse and could affect intense maneuvering of the nerves with his finger tips that made me ping a bit but evidently, it is a good thing to have your nerves strummed like a guitar. I had lovely discussions and debates with Burgs and George under the starry sky and there was a gorgeous little pool you could lie in just on the lip of the land.
It felt really good to be taking this break and I think it made the difference for me making it through this intense period of my life, even as responsibilities were piling in London. I tried to trust and gradually I shifted into the beautiful Balinese energy. We were on the non-touristy side of Bali so it was peaceful and empty. I’ve been twice before and always have strong reactions. All electronic equipment stops for starters. Watches, computers, you name it. It’s a beautiful culture where blessings are said for life all through the day and the veil between dimensions is very thin.
Burgs returned to England and the schedule slipped away. I walked on the beach at night and over to the huge statue of Buddha. I found myself overcome with a feeling of all encompassing love for Buddha and I would climb up into his lap and call him Papa, Papa, Papa and tell him I loved him over and over as the dark sea kissed the sand under the moon.
One evening on the balcony of my lovely apartment, my jaw was snapping a little. I have TMJ, that’s temporomandibular joint disorder, from my forceps birth and my jaw would build up tension and then crack. Weird, eh? Then and an odd thing happened. In a really casual way, I asked my I AM Presence (or Oversoul, Higher Self, etc.) to fix my jaw. I included the North Star in this request, simply by staring at it intently, but not really thinking.
Suddenly my bones by their own accord began to adjust themselves.
My jaw slowly moved forward beyond any manipulation I alone could have achieved and with no direction from ‘me’. My tongue pressed on the roof of my mouth with the force of an elephant, spreading my skull. This continued for an hour. The mischievous person that I am, I saw dinner was being served down below and asked if I could go down. I felt the inner guidance give permission to go down but to avoid talking too much.
On the way down I passed the mirror and watched with fascination as the bones in my face continued to shift of their own accord. This was really happening. I went to dinner and for the most part, it stopped. I returned to my room and it began again. This carried on after I returned to London and for several months, though less and less. It often happened when I was in darkness, suddenly triggered when the lights went out on a plane, for example. I still have the snap, though significantly less. My chin is more forward and my face appears a bit wider. But that is not what this story is about.
One day I was doing Qi Gong with George on the deck. The deck was wide and open to the sky and the sea. There was a feeling of floating, blue above, blue below. George had put on some really wonderful music. He had led me through some exercises and we were now moving with the energy inside and out. George was deep in his practice. There was a stillness. Beautiful music, soft Balinese air, endless blue, synchronistic flow. I was in the zone and pretty blissed out. I formed a large energy ball and with two hands pressed it into my heart.
In that moment Christ, Kwan Yin, and Buddha appeared before me. Christ was to the fore, Kwan Yin and Buddha a step behind. I was not seeing with my inner vision but with my 3D eyes. They were right before me, surrounded by the deepest intense shimmering green light. Tears began to stream from my eyes. George, probably thinking I was having some sort of cathartic emotional release, went and sat at the edge of the deck, but I was unaware of him until later when I saw him sitting there swinging his legs.
Christ came forward and bowed his head. He took my hand. I curtsied deeply and took his hand. It was as if I had danced in this almost medieval courtly way 1000 times before. I was completely present in the experience, there was no inner witness or judgment, therefore it was not remarkable or unremarkable as we must have a witness to categorize. I was fully present and immersed, but there was a deeply ecstatic and transcendent edge to it. My heart had swallowed me whole. He took me by the hands and we danced. And then it was over and there were the blue sky and sea, tears still flooding from my eyes and George swinging his legs trying to appear nonchalant.
Later I wrote a song about it. I have been guided to sing the song about this experience so many times, as a bridge into the timeless world, but I am so disobedient to my guidance. As Alice in Wonderland says… ‘I often give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it… ‘
I found writing the music to the lyrics difficult, my tune was like a folk song but overly simplistic and I gave it to a classical guitarist who wrote a medieval roundelay for it. It would be lovely for a group or choir to sing and includes two other similar experiences I have had but this one is unique in that I saw clearly in the human realm- not just heard or felt or saw with my inner eye.
It has been said one shouldn’t share these experiences, perhaps it dissipates them, perhaps because they are sacred. However, I felt the need to share how close the other worlds are and how accessible if we truly desire it. I told my dear friend Anie this experience and she was overwhelmed that we could dance with Christ. Well, He is called Lord of the Dance! She wants to help me make a music video of the song with the dancer played many different women and Christ many different men, for we are all One with the Christ. Yeshua came to remind us of that. In sharing, I hope to help people tune their radios to a higher bandwidth. The veil between worlds is very thin and just takes a subtle shift for the ‘doors of perception’ to open wide to other worlds, vast and treasure filled.
The Metaphysical Muse